Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
