What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
