i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
