My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
did you get engaged???
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
