ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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