as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
