She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize