At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
