So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
