did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
