he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
