So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
