Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
