Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
