I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize