are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
