oh fat girl friday strikes again...
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
