none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
