My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
