Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
