Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Couch. On fire.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize