So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
