There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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