So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
