so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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