so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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