Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I just gargled with NyQuil
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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