she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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