hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
