i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
