i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
