he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
