That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
