Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
