and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize