Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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