i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
birth control should be required to get into college
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
