She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
