And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Randomize
