I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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