if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
