I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize