I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
