i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
