Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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