The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
