also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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