Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
