I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
