So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
