Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
