Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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