he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
