Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
