Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
