Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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