mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
