Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
