I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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