My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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