The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
