we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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