Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
