it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
