I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
