I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
