I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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