Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This is classic penis vs brain.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
did i just pee glitter
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
