Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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