best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
