now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
