Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.

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(516): View more from New York

You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online

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(289): View more from Ontario

I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.

(647): View more from Ontario

It's sore actually

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(614): View more from Ohio

halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'

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(336): View more from North Carolina

You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?

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(281): View more from Texas

Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap

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(308): View more from Nebraska

I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!

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(303): View more from Colorado

That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool

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