I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Every concussion has its silver lining
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
