I cockslap morals
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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