4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
