why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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