STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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